March 15 and good to get together again. This time Shirley shares her story both in what she says and in pictures:
“What kind of a God can do something good out of cancer? How cool is that?”
“Somehow I managed to miss discovering how very much God loves me.
I was sure He loves everyone in general because after all He is good. And I was convinced I didn’t deserve any special attention.” (University days)
“I’m just not lovable.”
“I’ve never been happy. Five years down the line and I’m just that more unhappy.”
“God and I are not talking at the moment.”
After her divorce, on Dunedin beach: “I began to pray. I thought perhaps God would like to hear from me again.”
Back home after her New Zealand trip she began to pray: “God please take me.” She was disappointed in the morning that she was still here.
Attempted suicide: “There isn’t any hope is there?”
“I have cancer? The big C? I’m going to factor God into my life again.”
“I’m going to cut my crap and do it with God.”
“Is God trustworthy? Then I can believe His promises.”
“Within three days I was on Chemo. Go figure. I didn’t have time to think – it was just a complete whirlwind.
The other thing I can remember about that day – by far the worst day of my life – is a sort of shock: initially I felt completely numb. Perhaps it was denial? Then there were tears, even bravado in front of the prof.”
“I remember at the end of the day just – virtually everything inside of myself falling in my knees – saying, ‘I can’t do this, I cannot do this – no way!’”
“Fear is one of the terrible things I had to deal with. It has been with me for ever so long. Now it came and settled and didn’t plan to go any time soon.”
“I can give up completely right now. Or I can take on what lies ahead; I can fight for my life with everything I’ve got. For me, it’s a no brainer: of course I’m going to fight!”
“I’m not going to die, am I? Not when all I want is to serve Him.”
18 January 2014 after terrible report from Oxford and weekend in bed:
“If God wants me to die I’m okay with that.”
If I’m going to die I’m going to die well”
“One of the things that comforted and taught me so much is that I’m actually going to a better place. Of course I’m scared. I don’t know, I don’t know what it looks like. I don’t want to leave my friends – but I believe heaven is awesome.”
“Mum please help me die.”
“God loves me.”
“I’m so happy, I’m so happy, I’m so happy.”
“My body is busted and broken and not functioning as it should. Inside I am whole and I know peace and it is well with my soul.”
Do meet Shirley – click on the block in the website that reads “Shirley’s testimony.”
Let me know what you think. The other blocks help you to buy the book.
Blessings abundant like daisies on bushes!